Friday, June 02, 2006
To be honest, I think I've drifted away from my spiritual self
there's just too many things around me that I can't keep focused.
I'm back to square one once again. To the extent, that I didn't even
feel like going to church last week. Going for mass feels really dreadful
right now. I guess the only thing that's keeping me from going back
is that I know that I still have responsibilites in hand. However, I really
don't want that to be the only reason why I'm going to church every Sunday. Every Sunday, I wake up and I wonder why I'm doing this. Why I'm dragging myself
to church. Deep down, I just wanna stay home and sleep. Really. Just sleep and do nothing else. Maybe the laziness in me is back. Or maybe it has always been there. I'm too lazy to even say a little prayer to God every morning and night. To actually just thank Him for the day. I can't do that. I'm tired, I've totally lost my connection with God. I know I want it back. But there's just nothing to push me. I don't know. And I thought about how God actually gave me the calling when I was 15 to attend church, I feel so guilty. The fire I use to have it's so low. Sigh, it's just a real horrible feeling.
♥ 9:54 PM